The science of Emotional obligation & moral obligation tells us that reason or emotion have the potential to influence decision making, big time.
The research reveals that emotions constitute potent, pervasive, predictable, sometimes harmful and sometimes beneficial drivers of decision making. Across different domains, important regularities in the processes exhibit how potently emotions influence judgments and choices.
For example, I had made friends with a surgeon long ago. Coincidently, once a close relative who suffered with Hernia was to be operated upon by the same surgeon. It was reassuring that he was in safe hands. As I met the doctor friend before the operation, he shared how he had had a falling out with his spouse the night before and that did not feel his best. Gosh, there went my re-assuredness and judgment.
There’s a lot of talk about authenticity but sometimes we need to domesticate our emotions. We need to put our emotions / inner state second and do the hard work of empathizing with those we are showing up for.
The Choice is ours even though it is a tough one. Rumi’s ‘3 gates of speech has often helped me: I learned about it in workshops, coaching sessions, and in life.
“Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates:
At the first gate, ask yourself “Is this true?”
At the second gate ask, “Is it necessary?”
At the third gate ask, “Is it kind?”
Our behavioral economics is also powerful, harmful, and a beneficial driver of decision-making. There are different types of decisions. Consistencies appear in these decisions through which emotions influence judgment and choice.