You’ve worked hard, earned trust, and finally stepped into a leadership role.
Now comes the real test — leading people.
In the early days of leadership, there’s often a temptation to start proving yourself: setting direction, defining goals, giving feedback, and establishing your presence. But if you truly want to be a solid, effective people leader, here’s a powerful move that most overlook:
Sit down with your team — as a group or one-on-one — and ask them this:
“What about me pisses you off?”
Yes, it’s a bold question. But hear me out.
This one question can set the tone for your entire leadership journey. Here’s why:
1. It shows humility.
You’re not walking in with all the answers. You’re not assuming authority means perfection. Instead, you’re opening up and acknowledging that you’re human, and you want to learn — from them. That kind of honesty instantly builds psychological safety.
2. It flips the feedback dynamic.
Most leaders give feedback early to establish standards. But by inviting feedback first, you send a clear message: “Before I expect growth from you, I’m willing to grow myself.”
This small reversal builds credibility and opens the door for genuine dialogue. People don’t fear your feedback as much because they’ve seen you take it too.
3. It triggers reciprocity.
When you take feedback — especially the uncomfortable kind — and act on it, people notice. It builds trust. They start to see you not just as their boss, but as someone who listens, who reflects, and who acts. Over time, this shapes a culture of accountability, mutual respect, and growth.
4. It makes you a leader people want to follow.
Anyone can manage. But true leadership is about influence. When your team sees you take feedback seriously and follow through, they begin to see you as someone who’s not just in charge — but someone who cares. Someone who’s mindful of people and serious about building a strong team culture.
Leadership isn’t about having all the right answers — it’s about asking the right questions.
So if you’ve just stepped into a new role, or even if you’ve been leading for a while, consider asking your team:
“What about me isn’t working for you?”
You can soften the language. You can ask it your way. But the spirit remains the same.
Be willing to listen. Be ready to reflect. And most importantly — show them you’re here not just to lead, but to grow with them.
That’s the kind of leader people remember.
